Recalibrated

I've had time to let go of being angry about the fistula infiltration. I was supposed to go in this afternoon and see Dr. Feldhaus, the surgeon who placed the fistula back in December,  but he had a couple emergency surgeries which caused him to cancel our appointment. We're rescheduled for next Thursday afternoon.

I'm anxious to see him, because I'd like his take on my fistula and to determine if it needs to be opened up. While I'm with him I may ask him to draw a map on my arm, so the staff at the dialysis clinic can see where to stick me! I swear I wouldn't wash my arm for a week if he would do that.

So, while my catheter gets a stay from being yanked out, I'm focusing on some other upcoming appointments. I start pre-transplant evaluations next Wednesday. I'm pretty stoked about this.

Dr. Tarantolo has been a great advocate for me, calling the head of the transplant department on my behalf and giving him the lowdown on my leukemia. Even though my leukemia is in remission, there's a worry that a transplant will cause the disease to manifest again. It's possible, but Dr. Tarantolo, thinks the odds are very slim, and in the meantime, the transplant will increase my quality of life for many years. The good outweighs the potential problems in this case.

The evaluation process will involve three days of outpatient testing and consultations with the transplant team. I'll be poked, stress-tested, interviewed by a psychiatrist, and filled with so much knowledge that my head will probably explode. I can't wait.

I don't know why the thought of going through the transplant doesn't scare me. It would be the biggest surgery I've ever undergone, but then, I've never had any real surgery experience. Maybe once this is over I'll think differently, but for now I'm comfortable with the coming attractions. Even though dialysis is not a hardship and we've made the adjustments, it would be nice to get back to a life where three trips a week to dialysis wasn't part of my lifestyle.

In between evaluation sessions, I'll be getting a PET scan and another maintenance treatment, so neither ailment will be lacking for attention next month.

With my attitude re-calibrated back to its positive state, I'm ready to experience the evaluation process.